Faces

My sister and I have moved into my mothers house and created an art station like no other. The dinning room table is spread with paints, papers, glues, scissors, ect. ect. It is great!!!! My sister is teaching at several venues around the country this spring and is getting ready with ideas and projects. Last night she was working on a class project and I said "show me". So I got to learn how to make little faces using oil paint sticks. It was fun, much of the blending was done with your fingers. When ever I start something I am so uptight and then I relax. I especially like to do things with my fingers I love the feel of freedom I get. Connecting with that little part of me that plays is hard to do but I find it when I finger paint and that is what I loved about this project.

Care giving

It is difficult to take care of an adult. Especially an adult who is use to taking care of you! I think it might be partly because of my job, I'm a nurse and when I take care of people they usually do what I say. But not my mother. It has been frustrating and a little scary. I'm afraid for her, for fear her pain will get out of control with all the moving she insist on doing. Yesterday she was climbing around in and out of her SUV, the only way to stop her would be to physically hold her down. I finally said "mom you have made me angry and I am slow to anger"-she became quiet and went to bed with a pain pill. My anger is based in fear-fear for her. These past few days have been a learning experience for me in what I have control of and what I don't. All I know is that when I lay my head on the pillow at night I want to sleep in peace. My decisions during the day are based on what I feel I can live with that night when I fall asleep. So far my inner compass is keeping me on course.

Tuesday and all is well

We brought my mom home from the hospital Monday afternoon. She is doing well, up and about has taken a shower,playing with her cats and my biggest job is keeping her from doing too much!! Now the fun begins! Last evening my sister, my aunt Deb, and I sat around the dinning room table "crafting". My mom is a collector, her latest obsession is scrap booking supplies. It was like going to store last night rummaging through her cupboards and getting whatever we wanted to use. She had the best collection of rubber stamps and so today I am playing with stamping in my journal. It is something I've always wanted to do, but stamps are expensive so I've avoided them. My mother-she avoids nothing!

Mother update

The past few days have been busy. I've been away from my computer much of the time sitting in hospital rooms or airports. Unbeknownst to me I tried to fly into Phoenix during one of the worse storms they have seen in years, all flights were cancelled. I missed my mothers surgery!!! I was stuck in LA. Lucky for me I was able to get out on Friday and I was there when they rolled her into her room from recovery. As I had felt, everything went well. Although my mother is feeling very sore and is moving slowly. She is anxious to get home and hopefully that will happen on Tuesday. Thank you so much for all your good thoughts and well wishes they mean the world to me. I even reported to my mom that my blog friends were wishing her well it made her happy.

Repeating routines

Tomorrow I head out to Scottsdale to be with my mom for her surgery, she is having surgery on Friday. I feel very positive about this and think everything will be ok. I hope to be able to spend time with my sister creating, I'm taking one extra suitcase full of art supplies. I will miss being at home and the routine of daily life. I tend to find it boring and repetitious when I live it day in and out. But when I'm away I miss it terribly, the dogs, and my husband their little routines. I especially miss my morning cup of coffee in bed that my husband brings me every day I have off! My routines will be missed. I suppose one has to be away from them from time to time to realize just how precious they are.

Glance of the eye

An eye can threaten like a loaded or leveled gun, or it can insult like hissing or kicking; in its altered mood, by beams of kindness it can make the heart dance for joy. One of the most wonderful things in nature is a glance of the eye, it trancends speech; it is the bodily symbol of identity- emerson. I am taking a online photo journal class from LK Ludwig. One of the assignments was to take photos as if with a glimpse of the eye-very difficult to do. I am always posing my subjects, arranging items, checking the light ect ect. It was difficult to shoot from the hip so to speak. Most of my glimpses I noticed were of my pets I guess they just kept catching my attention. But it is amazing what a glimpse can do-across a crowded room from your husband, during a busy day at work from a co-worker. One glance saying 1000 words can make or break your day. I've heard that the eyes are windows to the soul why should not a glance be a treasured movement.

Soul work

Creating is always good for the soul. I am involved in a round robin, one that includes a huge book measuring 13x16 inches. Each woman gets to do a spread, I am use to working small so it has been a challenge to think big. Yesterday I got busy with paint and collage sheets of Teesha Moores and used one of my "poems". Listening to good music I created for several hours and totally lost myself in the process. When I was done I realized I had spent several hours free of negative thoughts, that my mind felt refreshed and that I was tired but in a good way. Today I'm going to repeat the process, I'm discovering that it is way for me to stop the process of the negative talk in my mind-to create art.