Gardening

Slowly, slowly I am getting back on track. I can't believe how in a funk I was just a few days ago. Things are much better, it has taken time, thought, reevaluation, and soul searching but my heart is shifting and I'm feeling my joy. Spending time in my garden was a good form of meditation, bare hands in moist soil I pulled weeds until my knees and back could no longer hold the position. My back yard is a magic place for plants, things just like to grow. The vegetable patch is full of self seeded poppies that are gorgeous and lush. Tomatoes and green beans will have to wait their turn I've not the heart to dig up the poppies until they are spent. Tomorrow I'll head to the nursery and pick out flowers for the various pots I have around the yard-Impatients will be first on my list they are one of my favorite flowers and do so well in my garden. Hope you all had a lovely weekend.

My life

I rested today doing nothing but sitting in my back yard, listening to birds, watching the poppies sway in the wind and reading a book. I took to heart the words of wisdom I received about shadows. Visiting with a friend helped me reconnect with my inner spirit and I found some peace of mind. I think a good dose of vitamin D in the sunlight was beneficial. This evening I'm not feeling so tired.

THIS PATH, THIS ROAD THAT IS ONE PERFECT STRAIGHT LINE EVEN IF IT GOES AROUND THE WORLD THROUGH HEAT AND FOG AND RAIN AND SNOW AND IT'S MY LIFE I KEEP THINKING. IT'S MY LIFE. deborah keenan from "small history"

Self portrait shadows

This weeks photo was taken last Friday in our trailer but I had no way to post it, this week I was at work for a long day and did not have time to take a photo so I'm cheating. It has been a week filled with shadows and long days. I can not put a finger on anything specific that is bothering me but I've been troubled. Days at work have been long and busy and this makes me tired and so I become sensitive. For some reason I've lost my ability to look in the mirror and embrace the wrinkles, brown spots, and deep shadows I see on my face. I just view my self as old and tired. It doesn't help to see two women transformed at work with the magic of a facelift. I don't like what I see myself becoming and I don't know how to stop it. It makes me sad-sad to be losing my youth and sad that I'm not joyful about the future. These are times of standing in the shadow for me.

Away I went

The desert called and away we went. Usually I have time to post about an up coming trip but this time things got away from me and as we were headed out of town I realized my neglect. The trip to the desert was beautiful it was green and blooming, the Mojave is not full of lots of cactus but has many tiny flowers that create blankets of colors over the desert floor, purples, whites, and yellows. It is amazing to walk up to the color and realize it is a collection of eraser tip size flowers-some smaller. The Yucca plants and Joshua trees were in bloom and gorgeous. For as huge and beautiful their flowers they give off no fragrance. We had a perfect camping spot and for once the wind was not blowing and it was peaceful and calm. Spending 3 full days in the desert away from people, traffic, tv, the internet, and work is a great re-generator. I am rested and ready to work in my garden and catch up on all I've missed well I've been away.

Good dreams

Coming home from work early today I laid down and took an afternoon nap. Dreaming I walked on the top of clouds and looked down thousands of feet to the ocean below me. Whales swam below, leaping through the waves and creating giant waves of spray, but none of it touched me in the high clouds. When I was tired of cloud walking the whales swam up to me and carried me to land. I did not want to return to the land of wide awake but laid there for the longest time remembering the feelings of freedom and lack of fear I had when in the clouds. My life is good and even my dreaming reflects it.

Dreaming of Peeps

It is a cold cold day here in northern CA. Walking down by the water front this morning I nearly froze to death!!! I can't believe that I once braved the winters of Michigan and the cold plains of Kansas. I've become a wimp. Yet just the same it was cold and now I sit in the basement by the fire warming up-dreaming of Peeps. The only time of year that I prefer something other than chocolate and that is only for a day or two. The Peeps have to be chickens, they MUST be yellow and I have to give my self permission to eat the entire package if I want. That is my plan for tomorrow.

Self portrait cover up

I so admire women who can wear head bands and turbans, wrapping up their hair and showing off their faces. Today I so desperately needed a hair cut that I took a scarf wrapped it around my head and covered up my unruly hair. It felt so nice but I'm not sure how good it looked, I think it looked rather obvious and not natural like I see on others. I also grabbed my little dog Penny and tried to get her to poise with me but she was not to cooperative. Things were just against me this morning. But just the same my self portrait was taken and I am on my way to a hair cut appointment. Thank goodness!! Have a good week-end and a Happy Easter.