Many Thanks

The eve before a holiday and that festive feel is in the air. Penny-Penny and Lily got baths they are going to visit grandma! I do not have to be back to work until next Wednesday so we have decided to drive to Scottsdale and visit my mom. It is a 12 hour drive but will be worth it, to get to visit with her, my sister and many other relatives who live there. I also get to celebrate my birthday when I am down there. I have so much to be thankful for this year that my heart feels like it could bust wide open. I am still reeling from the miracle of my moms situation. That alone counts high on the thankfulness meter. All in all my life is very good and I have no complaints, my thanks are too many to list. I hope you all are finding things to be thankful for regardless of your situation and that you have a day full of love and joy. Happy Thanksgiving.

Miracles

Do you believe in miracles? Well I do but they always have happened to someone else and not to me. Today that all changed. My mothers kidney tumor has disappeared! She has a stent in to drain the urine for 10 days and rest the kidney and will have a recheck at that time. But the Dr. could find nothing to biopsy or examine. He called it a miracle and could not believe it himself. It is funny because I've been praying, not for my mother to be healed but for her to be brave and not to have to hurt to much. I've been praying for me to be strong for her and to be able to be there for her and my family.I did not know how my prayers would be answered but I never thought like this. It is amazing how the grace of the universe works. Tonight we are having our Thanksgiving turkey (we will be on the road Thursday) and I will have something to be especially thankful for. Again my thanks goes out to all my blogger friends who I get so much support from through difficult times, thank you so very much.

Faith

As many of you read my sisters blog you know that my mother is having some bladder problems. My aunt works for the dr. who is taking care of my mother and I have some inside information. My mother has a mass on one of her kidneys and will need to have part or all of it removed. It is not known if it is cancer or not but either way it requires a major surgery in the next couple of weeks. I have these wonderful charms made by Nina Bagley with inspiring words. Not of my own choice but of necessity I'm being made to take a leap of faith-I'm going to have to trust others with my mom. I have to have faith in the expertise of others that their decisions and choices will be correct, because I don't know better. Daring myself to give up control and not be afraid. These are some lessons I need to learn-to let go with grace and dignity. Thank you for all you kind words of support, they are greatly appreciated.

Loss

I love the line from a current song on the radio "we are all just one phone call from our knees". I've had one of those phone calls just once in my life and it has left me terrified of the phone when it rings in the wee hours of the morning. Answering that call opened up a world of loss and grief like I had never imagined and taught me at a young age that life is precious and finite. As I've gotten older I've experienced more loss but never as piercing or sharp as that call so long ago in the dark morning hours. This weekend has been filled with phone calls trying to gather information, or instill a sense of calm, or just letting someone know they are loved. Life that can be running along so smoothly one moment can be so disrupted and changed in just seconds. All it takes is the message at the other end of the phone line. Loss becomes such a frequent visitor as one gets older it is hard to accept it graciously or willingly and not to fight like a mad woman not giving an inch. I don't want to give up the life I know, to have the ones I love hurt and change, and yet I must accept that change is part of life and look for the good in what the change brings.

Attitude adjustment

I am readjusting my attitude after my visit with my sister. It is interesting to have an outsider come into your home and "see" how you live. The habits and routines that seem so normal to you can sometimes be bizarre or crazy to someone else. My husband is a fanatic about the heat. Basically I live in a cold house. It is battle that is too big to fight and one that I have given up on. Well when my sister came the battle resumed. I wanted a warm home for my sister, after all she lives in Scottsdale and is use to the heat. After several "heated" discussions it was discovered that my husband dislikes using our furnace but does not mind a space heater. I am currently sitting in my studio beside the warmth of a little space heater. The rest of the house is freezing but I am nice and warm in my studio where it counts! By the way Penny-Penny is feeling better although she needs to be on antibiotics for 1 month and may require surgery.

Goodbye

I put my sister on a plane at 4:30 this afternoon and I feel lonely this evening. There is an empty chair at the dinning room table that for the past three days has been held down by my sister. When I came home from the airport I sat and beaded for a while but eventually not feeling the joy I put it down. I know this is just a temporary reaction because I am very excited about the project that I started when she was here and am full of ideas on how to continue with it. But the whirl wind that is my sister and her creative energy is gone and it leaves an empty place in my heart. Still I am thankful for the surprise visit and the inspiration she brought, and I know I get to see her again at Thanksgiving. I am showing photos of what I've been working on, click on the photo to enlarge it and see details.

Creating

We have stopped for the day, everyone has retired and I am sitting quietly in the dark catching up on my emails and blogs. My sister and I have been busy the past two days and the mess on the dinning room table proves it. She is busy painting pictures for her etsy shop. I've been working with my fabric and threads again. I've taken an old purse frame and am creating a fabric purse to hold one of my poetry pieces. My sister gives me inspiration and much needed encouragement and though the going is slow a piece of art is taking shape before my eyes. I'll have more photos in the next few days. It is so good to have her here it has been a great visit so far.