It has been rainy and cold here. I've not gone out and taken new photos but I've been looking through my files and found these that I am posting. Light, color, wrinkles, and textures I found appealing in the aging cosmos of my garden. I am lucky that these cosmos self seed every year and bring late summer color to my back yard. Just like me-late bloomers. These flowers got me reflecting on the thoughts of aging the joys and agony of the process. How at 54 I love where I am mentally and emotionally, I have peace of mind and have worked through that terrible thought process of being afraid of "what others think". And yet I still struggle with what is happening with my body physically. I don't like the "character" my body is developing the wrinkles, sagging skin, the grey hair, all my texture. I do have faith that I will come to accept this it just takes time, talking about it helps and I am glad you are all here to listen to me. I hope you have a lovely week-end.
I SAW OCTOBER AWAKENING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME AND IT WAS AMAZING BECAUSE I KNEW THAT I WAS GOING TO BE A PART OF OCTOBER. aldo kraas. This morning I went with Penny (my little Bichon) for a walk. It is her routine and you can set your morning clock by it 9:15 sharp. I usually do not go but this morning decided to join in. The morning did not disappoint, it was beautiful a clear blue sky not a cloud to be seen. I needed the fresh air to clear my mind of a cob web of thoughts that have been jumbled there for the past few days. There is nothing like exercise to ease the mind of its heavy loads of thoughts. I also find that I get lost with my camera and that taking pictures is sort of a meditative process for me-I think of nothing but the camera and what I am looking at all other thoughts are gone. I find that very restful. And so though my body was getting activity my mind was getting a long needed rest. It was a good walk.
Fall is a beautiful time of year. I love the coolness in the air, the soft feel of fleece against my skin and the warmth of a cup of coffee in my hand. It is a time for snuggling in and making a nest, something I love doing. I love my home. Adventure is great but at the end of the day home is best. I can spend hours wandering around my house rearranging and touching things. I waste a lot of time doing this but it seems to ground me. Especially when I am out of sorts or feeling overwhelmed. I've been learning lessons in boundary setting these past weeks and it is difficult. The first part of setting a boundary (for me) is knowing what my need is and that is hard for me. Knowing and stating my needs has been a difficult thing for me to do. I grew up always thinking of others and thinking that if their needs were met then I would be ok. It took quite a while to realize that before I could really take care of others I had to treasure myself and what I wanted. Today I hold those needs close to my heart and protect them carefully because they have been discovered with great searching. My home is some place where I always feel protected and safe.
Indian summer days are upon us in northern Ca. it is hotter now than it was all summer. Yesterday I went for a walk down by the marina and through the bird reserve. There are many a Canadian goose laying over for winter, they are either tired of the long commute south or are wounded in some way. I miss watching the geese fly over in the V formation something I use to do in Michigan. It was something as a child I would always pause at and say a prayer I can remember it so clearly the overcast skies, the honking geese and a prayer of safe journeys. This day was bright and sunny and the birds were busy singing and feeding. I just wandered from pond to pond enjoying the late October light. It is so low in the sky and so warm, everything feels golden, weeds even look special in the light. It was a beautiful walk. I hope you are all enjoying the October light in your neck of the woods.
My hydrangeas have turned dry and dusty I love them, I think almost better than when they are bright and fresh. Looking at my flowers I realize that nature takes time and creates a different stage of beauty with it. I need to realize that it is my inner self that matters and the energy I create with love. Time becomes more precious as one gets older and I'm trying hard to make each day count as best I can. Of course I mess up all the time that is life, but I've learned to forgive myself. Forgiving myself was a hard lesson to learn but it has made life so much easier. I quit taking myself so seriously-it was only myself who was beating me up. No one cared about the things that I thought were so important, life has become so much easier the more I have let go of. Fear held me so imprisoned when I was young and I am learning to let fear go. Nothing has killed or even hurt me yet so I'm going to keep moving forward.
ART and SOUL is over, it was my first experience at one. I had a delightful time. First of all I got to spend time with my sister, something I love to do and second I got to take a three day class from Nina Bagley and spend time with her something I love to do. It was win win for me. Class was great, Nina taught all kinds of techniques from wire wrapping to resin, we drilled holes in stones, made cloth beads and wire beads, information went on and on over and out of my head. But I did retain enough to complete a necklace and one that I was pleased with. In my photos you will see where I still need to practice with stamping. I did miss being out of doors since the event was held at the Embassy Suite right at the airport and there was no "outdoors" to go to but we were very busy all of the time and hardly missed it. I stayed an extra day and helped my sister with Vendor night when the artist sell their wares it is a busy and crazy time, we look a little shell shocked in the photo! It was a pleasure to put our feet up that last night with our pjs on and order room service a great way to end a good time together.
Last night was the wedding we were invited to in wine country. It was at a beautiful resort set up in the hills above the Napa valley. The ceremony was at 4:30 pm and quest were invited to arrive at 4 and enjoy the views it was lovely. An outside wedding on the deck of the resort, the weather was great the temp. was perfect and the sun made for golden reflections. Dinner was served after-a 4 course meal with a different wine served with each course. Lamb was the main course and I tried quail for the first time. An open bar ran freely and though I do not drink the bar tenders were gracious and kept my sparkling water glass full at all times. Bruce looked handsome in his tuxedo and I was proud to be on his arm. I promised a picture of us dressed up, you can see the vineyards in the back ground if you look closely and olive trees directly below us, it was like being in a mini Italy for the evening. I now can relax for the rest of the week-end and get ready for ART & SOUL, I'm leaving on Tuesday to take a 3 day class with Nina Bagley. I hope you all have a great week-end.