Saturday 4pm

All is calm in the Lilylovekin home. I've just returned from making art with my friends. It was a good get together and the first time in a long time that all of us where able to make it. We are quite excited because at our next get together my sister Julie Haymaker Thompson is coming to teach us a class. This is not going to happen until Jan 9 but with the holidays and all it will be here soon enough. Having only two days off this weekend I am laying low and dreaming about our last trip with Bambi. Hopefully we will get away next weekend because I have a block of time off. Until then I just have to content myself with memories and photos of the time away. Hope you are all having a good week-end.

Fleece

I'm in love with this time of year and with fleece I can't get enough of it and I know that as the weather gets colder I'll want more of it. This year I decided to get out my trusty little feather weight and try to sew. The fleece I've seen in the fabric stores is so fun and inexpensive that I thought why not? I use to sew all my clothes when I was in high school but it has been a while. After a few failed attempts at putting the pieces together correctly and with a friends help as a model I have my first lounge set sewn together. I have some kinks to iron out but all in all it was a good experience. I'm thinking of making some as Christmas gifts-one can never have to much fleece!

Road trip

Most road trips make one feel better and this one was no exception to the rule. Travel is getting easier and easier with the trailer. My only outburst was when we were sailing down a 7000 ft pass at 70 mph and I "calmly" ask my husband if we should be driving so fast. I did not get the response I desired so hanging on tightly we quietly but quickly descended the mountain top. We arrived at the bottom safe and sound my heart was a little rattled but it quickly recovered and the rest of the trip was uneventful. Halloween at dusk, I took a walk it was a quiet still evening, the sky was that twilight shade of blue and a large silver platter of a full moon was on the horizon. Tiny bats were dancing in the air above me chasing invisible dinner flapping their quiet wings. It was then I realized I had my joy back and that my own small little world was at peace. As mysteriously as the sadness had come it had gone. I had learned a little more in a lesson about "this to shall pass" that everything changes good and bad nothing ever stays the same.

Away

Tomorrow morning we head for "Bambi". We will be gone until Monday. I am looking forward to the get away. The weather is suppose to be cold and not to pleasant but I'll dress warm and drink lots of coffee. Thank you so much for your words of support. I appreciate them all and am actually feeling a little better which is nice because it makes going away easier. Until Monday, have a wonderful Halloween and a good rest of the week.

Stay Calm

I've been sitting at my computer for the past several minutes I've even written a couple of starting sentences and have erased them all. Nothing seems to fit, nothing feels right. I suppose you could say I'm feeling a little blue although I have no reason for it. Everything is going well in my life. But today and yesterday I felt little joy. Feeling joy is a new experience for me and one that I treasure. On the days that it is missing I realize it immediately and become afraid that the old way of life is back. So far I have been able to return to a place of joy without difficulty and I know that this will pass it is just a scary place to be right now. I've been trying to journal and write about how I feel, this is new behavior for me and difficult when all I want to do is curl up and hide in my bed. This weekend we make a road trip to "Bambi" to move her from the mountains to the desert. I am hoping that a change in environment will help with a change in attitude and that I will come home feeling better. Until then I will not panic but put one foot in front of me and keep doing the next right thing.

"Song for Autumn"

In the deep fall don't

don't you imagine the leaves think how

comfortable it will be to touch

the earth instead of the

nothingness of air and the endless

freshets of wind? And don't you think

the trees themselves, especially those with mossy,

warm caves, begin to think

of the birds that will come----six, a dozen----to sleep

inside their bodies? And don't you hear

the goldenrod whispering goodbye,

the everlasting being crowned with the first

tuffets of snow? The pond

vanishes, and the white field over which

the fox runs so quickly brings out

its blue shadows. And the wind pumps its

bellows. And at evening especially,

the piled firewood shifts a little,

longing to be on its way.

Mary Oliver

Nothing

Today is a nothing day-I write about nothing. The blankness of my mind. Getting up, drinking coffee, a hot shower. Driving to the market, picking over the last of the tomatoes. They are like candy in your mouth so sugary sweet. Admiring the gorgeous pumpkins and squashes but being intimidated by their size-what to do with them? Feeling hot autumn sun on my back and wishing I had worn shorts realizing my outfit was to warm for the Indian summer day we would be having. Deciding to go the the used book store and try to find something new to read. Ending up at TJMAX and buying a pair of fleece lined Crocs that are so comfortable I never want to take them off! Enjoying a day off. Doing nothing. Recovering from a hard week at work, getting ready for another. What ever you are doing this week-end either something or nothing-ENJOY!