Tuesday 1230 pm

Today is a beautiful late end of summer day. A light breeze blowing, those horrible winds of a few days ago are a distant past. The sun is bright and hot, the breeze has a cool edge to it, you know something is up. We went for a walk along the old highway that winds its way through the hills above our town and along the waterway. It is a favorite of mine this time of year and the place did not let me down. Dried out grasses flanked the roadside, a brave lonely sweet pea was still blooming in the sweet pea patch. Tree leaves are turning golden yellow and starting to rustle in the breeze. Anisette is drying out and the air is fragrant with licorice. Tiny treasures laying on the tarmac road waiting to be discovered are sometimes easily overlooked. I prepare myself for entering the world of work and being busy these next 3 days after having had some time off. I hope you all have a good rest of the week.

Surprise!!!

Today I received the most wonderful surprise in the mail. I love getting packages in the mail and this one was like a bolt of lightening, totally unexpected yet delightful and made me smile. Infact it continues to make me smile every time I look at it. It is from my sister a little stuffed doll walking 2 dogs. If you look closely photos of Penny and Lily were used to create the little dogs. The creation was made by Holly of Hollylovesart and you need to check out her blog and etsy store. Thank you Julie, you are the best sister ever!

Winds of change

The winds have been blowing this week-end. First the wind blew us home from our last summer camping trip early. Gusting, roaring winds were so disturbing it was impossible to hike, read, sit, journal or do anything without nearly losing ones mind. Penny and I tried to journal but it was hopeless. I like to think that the winds are blowing out the difficult season of summer and that is why they have to be so strong, it was a hard tough summer and it takes a strong powerful wind to remove it. In the winds wake will be a new fresh season- FALL. My favorite time of year. This fall I'll enjoy the cool, wear my sweaters gladly, sit near the wood stove and know that the summer of 2010 is behind me. I'll know that fall will be kind to me and mine and that I will love with added appreciation what I have today. I'll be thankful for the winds of change that are bringing a new season to my life.

Robin red breast

WAKE FROM THY NEST, ROBIN RED-BREAST! SING, BIRD IN EVERY FURROW! AND FROM EACH BILL LET MUSIC SHRILL GIVE MY FAIR LOVE GOOD-MORROW! BLACKBIRD AND THRUSH IN EVERY BUSH, STARE, LINNET, AND COCKSPARROW, YOU PRETTY ELVES, AMONG YOURSELVES SING MY FAIR LOVE GOOD-MORROW! thomas heywood "matin song"

Sitting in my back yard the other evening I watched a robin bounce around. It was the perfect evening with the smell of fresh cut grass and the sun shinning low through the bushes creating shadows and quiet safe places for birds to sit. Earlier in the day my husband had trimmed the grape vines and thrown grapes into the yard, the robin found them and was snacking. It was fun to watch. Robins always remind me of home-Michigan being the state bird. Even though I have not been there in years it is still "home" to me the place I grew up the place I am from. No matter where one lives one always has roots and has to be from a place it is what makes you feel grounded. And I am grounded on a dead end dirt road in a little town in Michigan where Robins were frequent and welcome visitors.

Sunset

Slowly the west reaches for clothes of new colors

which it passes to a row of ancient trees.

You look, and soon these two worlds both leave you

one part climbs toward heaven, one sinks to earth.

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leaving you (it is impossible to untangle the threads)

your own life, timid and standing high and growing so that,

sometimes blocked, sometimes reaching out, one moment

your life is a stone in you, and the next, a star.

ranier maria rilke

Joy

"THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS, BUT THERE IS THE DISCOVERY OF JOY". joyce grenfell. Searching for happiness can be a life long process, one that keeps the self so busy that happiness can be overlooked in the search. I've spent many a wasted moment thinking that the feelings had to be huge and over powering to be worth something. It was when I quit the busy crazy search for the perfect something I discovered a well of goodness in my life I had never known before. I realized I had discovered joy, that feeling of delight a source of pleasure. These past weeks I've lived without my joy but rediscovered it on my morning hike. I was awake and alert to my surroundings. I noticed with keen pleasure the sun on my arms, the birds sweet songs, the fresh scent of pine, the babble of the brooks. It was little things but I was aware of them and I knew my joy was back for a moment and that my life was good.

Morning hike

Returning from our camping trip, reentering "life" as I know it takes some adjustment. Driving back from our mountain getaway to home takes us about 5 hours so during that time I am able to reflect on the days past and slowly prepare myself for "life". One of my best times this week-end was a mountain hike we took. A meandering little trail, through forests, meadows, along rocky hill sides, and beside alpine lakes. Purple, white and yellow flowers carpeted the meadows. Small alpine lakes feed by little streams reflected mountains, skies, and clouds in the morning light. Our final destination was one particular lake that was so still and clear one could see the rocks and old dead trees laying on the bottom. Penny (our little Bichon) hiked the trail with great determination for a dog of 13 years, but settled for a ride home! It was a wonderful hike and a great way to spend the morning.

Wednesday PM

Going to the farmers market is a weekly ritual for me and one that I love. Lately I've been stocking up on peaches they are so sweet and juicy this time of year. This past week at the market several farmers had apples for sale. I can't believe that the summer is nearly over and that Labor Day is almost upon us. My summer has been consumed with unhappy tasks and events and I feel like I have lived it in a daze. I am starting to wake up and wonder where all the time has gone. We head to the mountains in the morning for another camping trip. I am trying a different size for my pictures on my blog, let me know what you think. I thought a larger size might show them a little better. Have a great week-end.

Peddlers Fair

Peddlers Fair in downtown Martinez, it happens twice in the year once in the early spring and than again the first Sat. in August. The entire town gets into the clean out mood and there is a yard sale on every corner, my neighborhood was buzzing with energy this morning. Hitting the fair early I avoided the crowds and was able to be home in time to take my afternoon nap! Having gone to DJ's class I was looking for things to use in journals. Two sellers had beautiful linens, one at the most excellent of prices and so I stocked up on lace doilies and several bags of buttons. My favorite dealer reminded me of a museum, her wares being from the 1920-30. Lovely embroidered silk scarves, feathers, beaded purses, coral, turquoise, and Kingfisher jewelry. This jewelry was made from the feathers of the kingfisher birds and very popular in the 20's, feathers were used for brooches, hairpins, and beads. In my photos you see a little collection of kingfisher beads. I could afford nothing in her booth, although she was kind enough to let me take photographs. Hope you are all having a good week-end.

Now

The world seems a brighter happier place after a days rest and a nice long nap. Being tired makes emotions much more intense. Yesterday I went to a local farm stand a bought some sunflowers, bringing a big bouquet of cheerfulness into our house-it is a delight. I also have started to journal (at the suggestion of Silke and Renate) and it is helpful. I'm keeping a book with photos, quotes and making up poems, when I am done some of the sadness has been released in the pages and is gone. I read a poem by Mary Oliver that has stuck in my mind "The god of dirt came up to me many times and said many wise and delectable things, I lay on the grass listening to his dog voice, crow voice, frog voice; now, he said, and now, and never once mentioned forever." Thank you for all your support as I work through my grief.

Missing Lily

Once again it is my "Friday" night. It is so good to have the work week finished. To know that I don't have to hear that irritating alarm in the morning. I have nothing planned for tomorrow, but hope to enjoy it more than I have days past. We've been to the mountains for a camping trip-our first camping trip without Lily. We had a good time things went well, but it was very difficult and sad without her. Since I've been home I've not been able to get rid of the sadness. It just hangs with me. Coming home from work is especially hard, we had a special little routine when I would walk in the door. Our house does not feel like home to me any more. I loved that little dog so.