I love the line from a current song on the radio "we are all just one phone call from our knees". I've had one of those phone calls just once in my life and it has left me terrified of the phone when it rings in the wee hours of the morning. Answering that call opened up a world of loss and grief like I had never imagined and taught me at a young age that life is precious and finite. As I've gotten older I've experienced more loss but never as piercing or sharp as that call so long ago in the dark morning hours. This weekend has been filled with phone calls trying to gather information, or instill a sense of calm, or just letting someone know they are loved. Life that can be running along so smoothly one moment can be so disrupted and changed in just seconds. All it takes is the message at the other end of the phone line. Loss becomes such a frequent visitor as one gets older it is hard to accept it graciously or willingly and not to fight like a mad woman not giving an inch. I don't want to give up the life I know, to have the ones I love hurt and change, and yet I must accept that change is part of life and look for the good in what the change brings.
If your changing hurts the ones you love and the "change" is good for YOU ! Then you know so well that the loss is their burden and if the change in you made you stronger and better then in the end it will be a gain for them as well . You will be a better person for them to have in their life. This is our jounry to learn grow and become stronger. This is what we are to do with this precious gift of life. One a past loved one no longers has, cut short as you found out years ago from that call in the middle of the night. OH I just felt a small cold nose on my leg !!! and soft touch of fur. A little four legged wonder with the precious gift of life!! Pure joy!!!
ReplyDeleteYour post brought back vivid memories of a call 12 years ago at 2am, my Mom had died...5 years ago a call that my brother had suffered a brain aneurysm changed all our lives forever,this was quickly followed by a call telling us my nephew had been killed by a hit & run driver, 2 months ago came the phone call that my sister had lung cancer & we continue onward as she battles with chemo & radiation. You're right that the older we get the more frequent these unwelcome calls become, I used to feel that change meant an adventure, now it leads me down paths I don't wish to travel.
ReplyDeleteWow, your post brought back memories, Lorrie! For me it's a little bet opposite - I remember many of those calls growing up, as death and tragedy was a frequent visitor in my life since my early childhood. The most poignant call came one afternoon when I was 21 and my mother had died very suddenly. Recently, life has been good and quiet and I find I am not able to trust that very well. I'm always waiting for that other shoe to drop... I still love change though as much change happens in my life that is good! I guess the art lies in enjoying every moment of every day and not wasting any precious minutes!! Much love, Silke
ReplyDeleteNo matter how many times we encounter loss or news of health issues in friends and family, it just never gets easier. It cuts like a knife every time. Sending you love and wishing you much strength to deal with this difficult time, Lorrie! All the best for your mom!
ReplyDeleteYes, just when we are brought to our knees with grief, thats when our strength is needed the most from other loved ones. Do what it takes to stay centered and calm. Sending healing thoughts
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julie
Thank God you have your sister and your wonderful family Lorrie, and you will become stronger. I am wishing the best for your mom, and praying for all of you.
ReplyDeleteawwww im sorry to hear the loss...life is so hard hitting at times, especially when its a young ones life, well any life. but thats why we have to make the most of the one we have. Though when my gramps died recently it hit me sooo hard...im sure my heart missed a beat that day...best wishes to u xxx ;0)
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