Friday, September 30, 2011

Rugged Times


It has been a rugged rough past few days here in sunny hot Scottsdale. First my mothers surgery was not the success we had hoped for, her bone quality is poor and so the surgeon could not fuse as many levels as he had planned. Her first night in the hospital she overdosed on pain medicine and stopped breathing-fortunalty things were caught quickly. But since then medication has been given out sparingly. In other words my mother is in much pain. It is difficult to sit there and watch her clench teeth, groan, and furrow her brow. I feel like the hysterical mother in TERMS OF ENDEARMENT-but my pleas seem to fall on deaf ears. Today when I went up my mother was feeling better, enough so to ask for a Starbucks hot chocolate! She is to be discharged in one day! She is weak and hardly able to move herself around in bed, although with help she is sitting in a chair and taking short walks in the room. It has been decided that she will go to a rehab hospital for a few weeks until she is stronger. This has caused emotional distress on my mothers part since she feels she is going into a "nursing home." But this is more than I can handle and I've told her so. I spent part of the day touring homes and found a lovely one not far from where we are staying. All in all it has been stressful, sad, and has left me feeling rather desperate. Thank you for listening to me vent.

12 comments:

  1. Oh, I'm so sorry to hear of your ups and downs with your mother's surgery. When you said she wanted a "Starbuck's" that news sounded great! I hope she continues to improve with the rehab and that she will see that the rehab is just another step on her road to recovery. Do you drink tea? I enjoy Yogi brands and often sip on the Stomach Ease, or Bedtime tea to relax. I hope you can find some peace from your stress.

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  2. Sorry things have not gone as well as hoped. It must be very hard for you - sending you many hugs and wishes for strength and calmness. And of course, sending speedy recovery wishes for your mother. I fully understand that her present state would be more than you handle, it will take a bit more time. Much love!

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  3. It is so difficult seeing people we love ill and suffering. I am glad you have found a good place for your Mum to recover in and hope things go really well. Stay strong!

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  4. I'm SO sorry things are rough right now. I've been through quite a few very difficult, very painful surgeries, myself, and I've also helped my mom through some very tough surgeries and illnesses. It's scary and draining. My mom also had a tough time with going from the hospital to a "rehab" facility (also thinking "nursing home") but she actually did very well once she was there, thanks to a wonderful activity director who enlisted Mom's help for the art projects.

    You're right to be realistic about your own abilities, and to take care of yourself. It won't help your mom if you end up hurt or ill in the process of taking care of her.

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  5. it must be very hard and sad to see your mother in a weak condition. i am very sorry about this. i wish brighter days for you and her.

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  6. Dear Lorrie, this is so hard! For you and your mother, I'm sure! It's hard to see our loved ones suffer and also resist decisions that you know are good for them. Daniel's aunt had to go into a rehab home for a few weeks a couple of years ago, but rehab did exactly what it was supposed to do and now she's been home for two years and doing well. Once your mom is in rehab, she'll probably relax and the healing will be faster. I'm keeping you and her in my thoughts!!! Much love, Silke

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  7. I'm sad to hear about your mother's health. I'm in the same position; the news about my father's health are not too great lately. I wish you strength in the next little while.

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  8. Oh Sweetie, I can't even imagine what you're going through. The stress would indeed be too much to handle. I'm so very sorry. I things start getting better. My thoughts are with you and your family.
    Take care,
    Holly

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  9. Making decisions for our aging parents is so not easy and caring for them during times such as this is so very emotionally draining. I can relate as I was there several years ago with my mother. Your mom is fortunate to have you there by her side especially with your medical background. Set healthy boundaries for yourself my friend and take care of your sweet self. Sending you good, supportive thoughts. on a side note...I had the pleasure of meeting your lovely sis at Art Is in Petaluma last week. So happy I ran into her.
    Hugs
    Diana

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  10. Dear Friend,

    I really do understand, to see your usually vibrant mom weakened is gut wrenching.
    Much peace and healing in the days ahead
    xx
    julie

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  11. oh my dear, it is a tough thing to watch our parents age. you must make a decision and know that it is best for the both of you. some of us are not cut out to be caretakers and knowing that is true wisdom. I wish you peace and clarity and love in the coming months...
    and make sure you have time for art... xxxx

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  12. thinking of/praying for you, today...

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