Some peace at last. My mother is back, at least most of the time. She has moments of clarity and this gives me hope. It is good to get out of the hustle and bustle of a busy impersonal hospital. With a clean bill of health we can get on the road to recovery. What a test this has been for me. Major fears have plagued me moment by moment. I've been afraid I would lose my mother, I've been afraid of making choices, I've been afraid of not being enough. It has been awful to say the least. It has really been a lesson in staying in the moment, and being present. Although I wanted to run away and hide many times. My prayer through all of this was "Thy will not mine be done" and that helped keep me grounded. Again thank-you for listening to me, I use this blog as a sounding board and your comments are appreciated.
I'm glad things are a bit better. What I've learned through hard experience with my own mother is that elderly people often have a really hard time with major surgery and hospitalizations. It can be the drugs, or the disorientation of the hospital, or the pain and illness, or all of the above. After my own mom's heart surgeries 16 years ago, she literally lost her mind and her self. Although she had lived completely independently before that, we were told she would need an assisted living facility. It was heartbreaking. But one doctor told us he thought she was suffering from "hospitalitis" (his term.) He said, "Get her home in her own surroundings, and I think she'll come out of this." It took her six months, but she did come out of it and has continued to live by herself these many years, although every time she's been hospitalized again it throws her for a bit.
ReplyDeleteRecently she needed two more heart stenting procedures. She lost it mentally, again (though not as bad as the first time.) She's just now coming back. All that to say, if your mom is coming back this quickly, it's a good sign. She will probably be just fine.
Honestly, all can be well again. My Dad was so confused after his triple heart bypass and two strokes and we thought he'd be that way for the rest of his days but as soon as he got home from hospital his recovery began in earnest. Being in his own surroundings seemed to help him piece the jigsaw of his life together again. It is a tough time for those taking care of a dear one who is recovering and it is so important, no ~ vital, that you take good care of yourself too. Sending more healing wishes, penny x
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to know that your mom is feeling better. To be honest, I worried about the result. I hope you can now breathe a sigh of relief and take some time to rest.
ReplyDeleteWe are here for you. :-)
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches for you - this has been a very difficult time. I am so glad to hear your mom is doing better and I am sure she will improve. Sending best wishes for you both...
ReplyDeletei'm sorry for all you've been through lorrie. i do know. i have been going through something quite similar these past years.
ReplyDeletesending hugs.
These times do test us. You will be OK! dropping into the now is the way, for sure.
ReplyDeleteHUGS Lorraine
I've written several long, heartfelt comments to you, only to have my comment ability malfunction. I read that many people are having trouble with this now, as well as last May. At any rate, I'll just say now that I am thinking of you and keeping you in my heart. Be proud of all you've done...any mother would want a daughter a dear as you. I'm proud of you!
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