"Friday Night"

Although it is only Wednesday evening, it is my Friday night. Yeah!!! For those of you who do not know, I work 12 hour shifts and so I only work 3 days a week. Working 3 days in a row can get one pretty tired, but the time off is great. This week I was fighting my cold so I came home and basically fell into bed, woke up the next morning and started over. Now that it is "Friday" evening I'm tired but am feeling better and have left the cold behind. I also have 5 days off so we are headed to the mountains in the morning. I will return on Monday. I have missed posting on my blog. I have come to count on this as part of my daily routine and it feels wrong somehow to miss it. I appreciate all your kind comments, especially when I was feeling down. It is nice to know you are not alone. I hope you all have a great rest of the week and a good weekend.

The Struggle

Yesterday and today have been a struggle. I did not post anything yesterday because I felt I had nothing to say and today I feel the same way. I like to blame it on fighting a cold, yesterday I was in bed at 5pm and slept until this morning. Today I feel fine but am listless and lack enthusiasm for anything. I went to the farmers market, forgot my camera and did not even care. Usually that is a highlight of my week. When I lay down to sleep I am wide awake and feeling guilty that I am not up and doing something. I am afraid this week end has been a total waste. I've looked through some old journal pages trying to get motivated to work but nothing has nudged me. Ever had a day or days like that? I'm sorry to complain so in this post. I thought if I wrote about it maybe something would break loose. I get to go back to work for 3 days starting tomorrow so I'll not be posting as regular so I thought I should say something. I hope you are all having a good weekend, the Lilylovekin house is sort of down and out.

Friday Nights

The work week is over. How I love Friday nights and tonight is extra special because I get to catch up on all my blogs. It has been a busy week at work and I've not had time to check in on a daily basis. Tonight it is cool and perfect for a bath. I think when I finish this post I will fill the tub with hot water, bubbles and take a long soak. I used the memories of the previous weekend to help the long days at work. I thought often of the lane we drove down that was lined with Aspen trees. I want to live on lane like that and have a river in my back yard. I think sometimes of moving to the country but then I always get practical and know there is no work in the country. And I have to work, maybe someday when I retire-------.

Memories

Today is a day for remembering the good times of the past few days. The walks through mountain meadows, rides down aspen lined lanes. Watching afternoon rain clouds float over head and listen to the occasional roll of thunder and crack of lightening. The meadows were full of dying blue wild iris, I could not get a good photo, only of the dried seed pod. But I imagined them weeks before a sea of blue against the green of the forest. Other flowers were eager to take their place and there was much blooming and new life in the meadows. All of this color and life filled me up and left me very satisfied. It left me recharged with memories to remember and reflect on as I start my work week. The rest of the day will be spent painting and journaling about my weekend and preparing for the work day tomorrow.

The Woods

Another camping trip over. Things did not go as planned,but then they usually don't. For starters someone had taken our favorite site on the ridge and so we ended up in the forest. I like the woods for short periods of time but to camp in them I tend to feel rather claustrophobic an end up feeling crushed after 3 days in them. Our batteries were dead and so it was like the old days of "real" camping with flashlights and lanterns. Lily was introduced to a hammock and watermelon I think the jury is still out on her opinion re: these things. We spent alot of time hiking in open areas, the flowers are lovely this time of year and so there was much to look at. It was a great get away different than planned but great just the same.

Camping

We are headed to the mountains. For the summer months we move our trailer to the eastern Sierras and store it in the little town of Bridgeport. It is near an area full of little alpine lakes, silvery Aspen trees, and snowy mountain peaks. We have a favorite ridge we park our trailer on that sits at 9000 feet it has wonderful panoramic views of the valleys below and even a distant view of Mono Lake. When we camp we stay away from organized camp grounds, our dogs are very unruly and would misbehave around others. So we will be all by ourselves this week end enjoying peace and quiet and mother nature. We will be gone until Monday, I hope you all have a great weekend.

Golden Beets

I'm addicted to golden beets. They are delicious, I just boil them in a little water, peel them and eat them as is. They are so tender, sweet and earthy tasting I just love them. Today at the farmers market the grower had a good selection, and I carried an arm load home. I was curious about these cute little eggplant that were about the size of croquet balls, but I didn't know what to do with them. I also tasted an Afghanistan cucumber that was good but was about 2 feet long and much more vegetable than I needed. I'll spend the rest of the day psyching my self up to return to work tomorrow and painting. I'm anxious to practice the new things I learned yesterday.

Paint Class

Today was my painting class with Katie Kendrick. I had written earlier about being nervous about taking this class because I am not a painter. Well Katie is a kind, gentle, soft-spoken instructor who was very non threatening and explained that the purpose of the class was the experience and not the outcome. I was put to ease and with much time given to practicing I was able to let go of some of my inner uptightness and relax. I discovered that the easiest way to get into the experience was to paint with my finger instead of a brush and alot of the painting you see was done with my fingers! I also learned the fun of the Stabilo pencil, and I tried to draw, I need to work on that a bit but I had fun. And I'm already thinking of ways I can use what I learned today in my poetry fabric art.

Mosaic

I've had a couple of days off of work and so I've been busy in the crafting department. I wanted to try something new for the background for my fabric pieces. I thought of mosaic, I went to TJMAX and bought inexpensive plates. The hard part was taking a hammer to them and breaking them. I thought it would be fun-taking out all of my pent up frustration and releasing it. But I found it very difficult. Either I have little frustration( I don't think that is the case) or I am very uptight( I think that is more likely). Anyway I found the exercise exhausting and irritating. I did buy more plates and hope to try it again. I think I need to loosen up a bit. Mosaic work was a bit of a challenge for me, the grout work was messy and time consuming, my husband helped me with it. But in the end, I like the texture of the glossy hard finish against the soft of the fabric. So I will be trying it again and with my husbands help will conquer it.

Wagging tails

I have snippets of words and phrases laying all over my house. I am constantly cutting up books finding items for the poems that I create. Today sitting beside my computer was this little snippet and it just called for a post about Lilylovekin and her dirty toys. You can set a clock by Lily and her play time every evening around 5:30 and then again a 8:oo. She has one old toy that by some small miracle still has the squeaker inside,she comes up so proudly and squeaks away until you have to stop what ever you are doing and play with her. She never picks the new toys but goes after ones that are torn up, dirty and smelly. I try and put the old ones away but she digs them out and brings them back into play. I don't have the heart to throw them out. I guess you can tell who runs the show in our house. Dogs Rule!

Constant Battle

You know a dream is like a river

ever changing as it flows

and a dreamers just a vessel

that must follow where it goes.

Trying to learn from whats behind you

and never knowing what's in store

makes each day a constant battle

just to stay between the shores.

This little quote is from the song The River by Garth Brooks. I read it and liked what it said. I'm not a country music fan so I've not heard the song. I have people close to me who are going through some difficult times. I've been thinking alot about them and sending them positive energy. This quote just seemed to sum up my thoughts. Life is good even though it sometimes has periods of struggle.

Flea Market

No farmers market today. This morning I got up and went to the Alameda Flea market. It meets the first Sunday of every month, and has over 800 dealers. Items need to be at least 20 years old or they are not allowed to be sold at the market. I've been meaning to go to this market for months but have never made it well today was the day. I arrived with a whole 35 dollars burning a hole in my pocket and much determination. It was a cloudy, windy and cool day but I did not let that stop me. What stopped me was the size!! It was huge and went on and on. I was overwhelmed, I wandered around rather stunned looking at things, touching things and wanting what everyone else had in their hands. I bought my self a cup of coffee tried to unthaw the chill that had set in and attempted to conquer the market. I soon realized that I needed to dress warmer, and have more money. I consider this a trial run, just a warm up to check out the lay of the land. I plan to return next month. The shock to my system will be gone, my pockets will be richer but the determination will be the same.

4th of July

Happpy 4th of July. Today is a day of celebration and summer fun. It is our nations birthday and deserves a party like no other. The Lilylovekin home will celebrate in a low profile mode. A small barbecue in the backyard, and going to the roof top tonight to watch the local fireworks. Dogs do not like the loud noises of the explosions so we stay close to home to provide comfort as needed. I hope you all are having a wonderful day.

Open Heart

NOT KNOWING WHEN THE DAWN WILL COME-OPEN EVERY DOOR. emily dickinson I read this quote on a blog the other day and felt it was so appropriate for where I am right now. It is important to be patient and wait for the answers but also to take action when it is presented. Not to be a victim of circumstances but to take the circumstances and make them work for you. One never knows where the answer may be hidden so one must always have their eyes and heart open.

Patience

Patience, quiet steadfast perseverance, an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness when confronted with delay. I have been trying to practice patience these past 4-5 weeks as we have been waiting for the results of my husbands job interview. I was so excited and really had this deep seated feeling that this was "it". But time has marched on and no phone call or letter and I am giving up hope. I know it is how so many families are feeling these days that a second income would be nice. I suppose we are more lucky than some because we do have at one steady income. I will try and continue my practice of staying in the now and trying not to be discouraged about this. We have not heard a definite no but we are bracing up for that to be the outcome. If I can wait for these grapes to ripen I can wait for a phone call or letter!