Tuesday, October 27, 2009
I've been sitting at my computer for the past several minutes I've even written a couple of starting sentences and have erased them all. Nothing seems to fit, nothing feels right. I suppose you could say I'm feeling a little blue although I have no reason for it. Everything is going well in my life. But today and yesterday I felt little joy. Feeling joy is a new experience for me and one that I treasure. On the days that it is missing I realize it immediately and become afraid that the old way of life is back. So far I have been able to return to a place of joy without difficulty and I know that this will pass it is just a scary place to be right now. I've been trying to journal and write about how I feel, this is new behavior for me and difficult when all I want to do is curl up and hide in my bed. This weekend we make a road trip to "Bambi" to move her from the mountains to the desert. I am hoping that a change in environment will help with a change in attitude and that I will come home feeling better. Until then I will not panic but put one foot in front of me and keep doing the next right thing.