I've been sitting at my computer for the past several minutes I've even written a couple of starting sentences and have erased them all. Nothing seems to fit, nothing feels right. I suppose you could say I'm feeling a little blue although I have no reason for it. Everything is going well in my life. But today and yesterday I felt little joy. Feeling joy is a new experience for me and one that I treasure. On the days that it is missing I realize it immediately and become afraid that the old way of life is back. So far I have been able to return to a place of joy without difficulty and I know that this will pass it is just a scary place to be right now. I've been trying to journal and write about how I feel, this is new behavior for me and difficult when all I want to do is curl up and hide in my bed. This weekend we make a road trip to "Bambi" to move her from the mountains to the desert. I am hoping that a change in environment will help with a change in attitude and that I will come home feeling better. Until then I will not panic but put one foot in front of me and keep doing the next right thing.
I understand this feeling...it is a familiar one and even though I know from experience that it will pass I still hate being in it. They say we cannot feel great joy without also knowing great sadness, I guess that may be true for without one you could never understand the other.
ReplyDeleteOh Lorrie..we all have those days. I feel like I am just now coming out of about a 2 year slump....Right now focusing on Halloween, and the upcoming holidays.
ReplyDeleteI know I get alot of pleasure from all the WONDERFUL FRIENDS I have made in blogworld. It amazes me how many great new friends I have been lucky enough meet. I am home alone most days and my blog friends are a treasure to me...
Take care... you'll feel better..I know you will.
Kary
xxx
keep putting that foot in front of you.
ReplyDeleteWe all get to feeling that way too.
Hang in there - we're here for you Lorrie.
hugs.....
We really all do have times like this, Lorrie. I know I do. But we do find back to the joy - don't forget that!
ReplyDeleteLorrie I hope joy fills your sweet spirit soon. I too fall into that deep abyss of sadness and so miss joy when it is not filling my vessel. I just want you to know that your birthday message meant a lot to me. It truly did as I have feeling just a little sadness at turning 50 but I think you are right I think these are going to be the best part of my years. Thank you so much. Have a beautiful day.
ReplyDeletel came across your blog this evening. Oh boy do l understand your feelings. l have depression and it sits on my shoulder all the time just have to put one foot in front of the other..as you say.
ReplyDeletewe all have sad days and we have to learn what a sad day is and when it is more. l have days were l curl up in bed..today was one..and l am a counsellor..so u see we all have sad days.
Enjoy your change of scenery and enjoy and take those feels back with you to add to your happy memory box.
Here's what I do when I feel myself inching toward the quicksand. I clean sinks, maybe a drawer too, tidy up around the house. Take a short walk. If its extra bad, I make my way to the nursery and buy a pony pak and come home and fill up my window boxes. THEN, I'll make my husband one of his favorite dinners, and he is so pleased about it, I feel my self being lifted northwards again. Hope you come home feeling that way too.
ReplyDeletexx
I can't believe I missed this post, but I probably did because I had a few blah, blue days as well. No reason, just not the chipper self I am so used to. Today, I finally decided to just get my energy moving, so I walked Winslow and then cleaned the kitchen, put up some fall decorations and before I knew, I was feeling better again... I was glad to read in your most recent post that you are feeling better - I'm so glad!! Sending a great big hug, Silke
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