Refreshed

Cool drink in hand, shower taken, and bags unpacked. I've returned from my weekend away refreshed and ready to take on life anew. Some of you have ask to see my "art" work. I must admit to being shy to show you what I do. I call it art work because I use all the supplies paint, pencils, chalks, glue, ect. ect. But I really do not create anything close to art. I keep my self entertained and I feel better when I am done so I feel my work is productive and I would be lost without it. Right now I bought a large spiral bound book that has heavy paper in it and I paint it with many layers of paint. I than collage the edges of the page with images from magazines that I like. I add words, colors, doodles, or what ever moves me. I'm always adding to the page. The center of the page I leave blank to do my writing in. This is how I spent a good portion of my past few days cutting, pasting, and painting. Click on the images for a closer view.

Getaway

On a positive note. We are getting away for our long weekend with "Bambi". Right now I am in the process of packing up and also other great news. I am able to blog from home now! Goodbye car office! We have internet service in our house and I am blogging from my messy studio and I love it. I am really looking forward to this long weekend. I plan to do much journaling on the subject of work and then some. I am packing up paints, books, magazines, colored pencils, glue sticks, all the good stuff and of course my camera. I know we will get our favorite camping spot and that the weather will be great, and I will come back refreshed and relaxed. I just know it!!! I not be posting until Monday evening so until then you all take care of yourselves.

Management

Although I did my best to let the issues of work go. Work did not let the issues go. Management was called in about the "altercation" between the two women at work on Friday. Monday morning the staff was given a short but stern lecture re:gossip and negative behavior. I was called into the managers office on Monday afternoon for a friendly visit to talk about "issues" of the department. My work place has alot of growing pains with two young inexperienced managers. It was a small "mom&pop" business bought out by a large cooperation and is undergoing major changes. People are angry, frustrated and afraid. Management either doesn't care or doesn't know how to deal with it. I do believe that things will improve, it will just take time. Until that time comes, I need to figure out how to keep a positive attitude and not be overwhelmed by the negative. I tend to be very quiet and when others are talking negative I agree with my silence. I need to learn to speak up and stop the negative talk and keep things on a positive track.

Sunday morning

I'm finished with all my running around. I have discovered a book store not to far from my home that has internet service. So I've parked myself down, bought a latte and am doing a little blog therapy. We finally have phone service and I am looking forward to getting ahold of my sister on the phone sometime today and catching up. It has been a long time since we've talked. And I really miss her. Today I also get a haircut. I'm lucky in that my best friend cuts my hair and comes to my house and does it. Not only do I not have to go out but I get a wonderful visit out of the deal. Thursday we leave for our long weekend with "Bambi" so I did not buy to much fresh food at the farmers market. I could not resist the tomatoes and sweet corn though, they are both so good. There were stalks of brussel sprouts at the market, I have never developed a taste for the bitter little things but am fascinated with the way they grow. I've been able to let the difficulties of work go and have had a good week end.

Anger

Saturday morning and I am trying to leave the work week behind, but it is difficult for me. Yesterday late afternoon at work I witnessed two women in a nasty discussion. The type that happens after someone holds things in for a long time and is frustrated and angry. It was ugly and loud, and I was dragged into it in a small way, it happened quickly and by surprise. I did not respond as gracefully as I would have liked and I hurt someones feelings. This bothers me today and I can't let it go. Under the circumstances I know I spoke my truth but it did not come out the way I like to say things. Today I am resentful. I dislike it when people let things fester and do not speak up when things are bothering them and then blast away in an angry fit. It is nonproductive and hurts everyone around them especially those the anger is directed at. I came home from work feeling as if I had been in a fist fight. I can't imagine how the two other women felt. Today I woke up with a headache. I wish this was one of my long weekends. But I only have two days to process through this and recover. I'm glad I have this blog that I can vent a little bit about it, it always helps to write things down. You all have a good weekend I'm going to go and find something fun and distracting to do.

Osmosis

You are looking at a picture of my new "office". We are still without phone or internet service. Sometimes I want to ring my husbands neck, but then I try and remember he is only doing what he thinks is best. And yes we are suppose to get phone service this week. I had another good walk with my friend. We have some of the best conversations and it always helps me to see things a little clearer at least for a little while. Today our subject was how to help someone who seems to be in a miserable place? I've learned that no one can "fix" someone else, you can only take care of yourself. I am hoping in that taking care of my self- that the better I feel the easier it will be for me to handle the difficult times and make things easier for those around me. If I am stronger, I can be there for those I love and be less effected by their moods and attitudes. It is so easy to dwell on the negative and forget what your life is full of. If I can keep my attitude positive maybe I can pass that on to those I love through osmosis.

Art in the Park

No pictures this week of the farmers market. But I did go and get wonderful tomatoes to make a greek salad for dinner sometime this week. Earlier this week I had a discussion with my husband that we needed to start having some "fun" time. Setting aside time for us, trying a new adventure, no dogs just the two of us. He agreed and in getting into the spirit of it discovered a little art in the park that was going on at a local park. We walked to the park and wandered around the art displays, listened to the music, and shared an italian ice. I did not buy anything but had to settle for photographs, the artist were good about letting me take pictures. My favorite was of a lady who made beautiful lampwork beads and had this gorgeous necklace that I am sharing a photo of. Next week it is my turn to come up with an idea for the "date". I hope I do as good of a job as my husband did.

Naked Ladies

Amaryllis belladonna, the Naked Lady, how I love this lily. It blooms in the hot dry days of August. Rising up from the ground with complete surprise, no foliage involved just a tough stalk springing up giving birth to a beautiful pink flower. It almost seems as if the drier and harder the ground the more abundant the display. You will find them growing along chainlink fences, empty lots, industrial roads, and dusty barren fields. I love their persistence and ability to adapt. I think there is a lesson for me to learn from them. I am filled with gratitude for their beauty when I see them. And say a thank you for teaching me the lesson about how hard work pays off. The photos of this display I took along a dry narrow industrial road with semi trucks roaring by and smelly exhaust fumes. I was continually amazed that anything so beautiful could grow in such a ugly place. Another lesson in that one can rise above the circumstances and be a better and different person. There are so many lessons that nature can teach me I just have to have a open and willing heart.

The Walk

I am back at work these three days. We are busy and my days are full. I go to work and for 12 hours think of nothing but the task in front of me and as the day progresses I think about how my feet hurt. I come to realize that after 12 hours no pair of shoes would feel good so I've quite looking for that perfect pair. Occasionally during my day I think about something besides the job and this week I've been thinking about I walk I got to go on with a friend the day before I returned to work. It is so good for me to spend time with friends. Like I said in an earlier post I don't have alot of friends but I treasure the ones I have. Thinking about the walk I realize how important it is to physically be with another person, feel their energy, hear their ideas, and know their love.

Muggy days

I love the hot muggy days of August. We do not have humidity in CA. and it does not seem like summer without those days of heavy air that is so moist one can hardly take a deep breath without choking. Today it is a little muggy out, with the skies hazy and overcast. If I lived in the midwest I would think there might be an afternoon thunderstorm, but that will not happen on the west coast. It is one of those perfect lazy days of summer when you wish for a cool place to sit, a glass of something iced and a wonderful book to lose yourself in for hours. I've been spending this summer rereading some of my favorite books and it has been great. I love books. I have a whole collection of my favorites that I'm glad I've kept because it has been a good way to spend my time. If you don't mind leave me the name of your favorite book,that I can add to my list. It would be a good thing to update my collection.

Happy today

First off I want to thank everyone for their words of support re: saving money after yesterdays post. That is what I love about this blog. I live a rather private life. I go to work socialize with the people there but keep to myself. I have few friends. Sometimes I feel alone and this blog has helped to alleviate that feeling. Reading all the comments this morning made me feel good. Thank you. I made my weekly trip to the farmers market and was able to pick up some wonderful Brentwood sweet corn. I've been craving sweet corn. The past few days have been warm and I've been really feeling like it is summer. So tonight I'm going to have one of those great summer dinners sweet corn, tomatoes, and a grilled something or other. It is a good day in the Lilylovekin house internet service or not-we are happy today. Hope you are to.

Saving money

It has been a few days since I've posted or checked out all my blogs. I've been at work and my husband as disconnected our internet service. He is currently unemployed and spends much of his free time trying to figure out how to save money. One of the ways he does that is shop around for cheaper phone and internet service. I appreciate the effort but not the inconvenience, currently I am sitting in my car picking up free internet service in the local downtown. I must remember my motto to be grateful, at least there is free internet service otherwise I would be really out of luck. And I could have a husband who did not care about the money and that would be an awful thing. We were busy at work so I am resting today. But I feel the urge to start creating again. I'm not sure what direction it will be but it feels good to have interest in that area again. I'll keep you posted.

Gratitude

One of our little road trips this past weekend was to a deserted mine. It was up a bumpy narrow mountain road about 10 miles that was hot and dusty. Crawling around the mine you got a feeling of how desolate and rough the area was. It made me thankful for the things I've become to not even think of such as electricity, running water, and fresh vegetables. I was thinking about how difficult it was to reach in a car and how much harder it must have been years ago when there were only wagons and horses. I've come to expect so much in my life and have forgotten to appreciate the little things. I must try a little harder at keeping my gratitude list, when one is in an attitude of gratitude it is hard to be negative. Today I am thankful for the sun on my back, my morning cup of coffee and the sound of the wind chimes in the air.

The Ridge

It is a pleasant evening at home, I'm sitting in the backyard listening to the neighbors blue grass band adjusting to being home. We've returned from our camping trip. Success!! We got our spot on the ridge and so I was a happy "camper". Every afternoon we watched a thunderstorm roll in and each evening a beautiful sunset. The next morning would be sunny and clear-it was lovely. I did little journaling this time except to keep my gratitude list. But each day we took little hikes, a couple long drives, and I read alot. I am feeling much better and did much thinking on why I was feeling so poorly. I really did not come up with any thing to profound but any thankful I'm feeling better. All I know is that I'm looking forward to the future with anticipation and not dread and so that is a step in the right direction.