Being present

Only two days left of my visit to my moms. I think she will be well enough for me to leave. It has been an interesting visit. Much has been going on not only in my mothers life but in those close to me, there has been much upheaval and pain. I am continually thankful for the life I have and the peace that I have found in it. This week has been a big lesson for me in staying centered and present in the moment, although many times in the moment I wanted to run away screaming. I just kept reminding myself that I was here not for my mother but for myself- that I needed to do this to keep peace inside of myself and that seemed to work. I would often find myself listing things I was grateful for in rather a chant that would help me from losing my temper. Now when I look with fear at all the potential I see as future problems I try and focus just on today. My mother is ok today, I'll drive myself crazy worrying about a future I have no control of and a mother I have no control of. I'll deal with those future problems like the one I am today by being there and being present and being the best person I can be in the moment.