Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Disconnect





It is a lovely spring day, beautiful sun, a bit crisp in the air. Yet it is warm enough for me to wear sandals and get my first pedicure of the season. It feels good to have my toes look nice and it felt so good. I stole into my neighbors yard and borrowed her roses as models for my photos today. She has the most beautiful plants. I've finally been able to put into words what is troubling me, sometimes it takes me ages to figure things out. I feel disconnected. My life is good and yet I hold sadness, anger, and frustration inside me. What I feel does not belong with what I experience. That is because these feelings belong to others and I am "borrowing" them for the time being. I don't know how to do things half way and so it is hard to sit with a feeling knowing I only have to hold it and not take it in and own it. Recognizing that I am only holding these feelings for a short time is an eye opening experience for me and a step towards reconnection.

7 comments:

  1. Oh Lily... I have been feeling disconnected lately too. Life has been a little unsettling but it is slowly shifting. And you are right...some of it is not mine but I am not very good about letting it go. I am working on it. Your rose photos are lovely

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  2. by the way... I am so glad you are going to An Artful Journey in July. I also fell in love with DJ's books. So stunning. I would love to take a class from her sometime!

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  3. I'm so glad you are figuring it out. Be well... Beautiful photos...

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  4. So sorry for these hard times- I wish you the best on this journey and hope you are able to find peace. The roses are heavenly, I can almost smell them.

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  5. Dearest Lorrie, your insight is difficult, yet good at the same time. Difficult because you are holding emotions that belong to others and good because you've realized that they are not your own. I often find it difficult to feel for others as they are going through hard times without losing my own center. Sometimes I have to simply disconnect from their story to connect again to my own... And yet, I feel for you as you are going through this, dear friend!! Love, Silke

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  6. great to know what has been troubling you! now you can heal it. your photos are brilliant! love the progression!

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  7. and the word i settled upon for myself of late is "unmoored". adrift.
    thinking of you x

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